February 2012
343 posts
2 tags
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
Feb 29th
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Feb 29th
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Feb 29th
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Break the emergency glass I require my Biggles... →
justsayins: Okay. Guys. Guys. Two things. 1) I’m a martial artist. I’ve been studying since I was seven. I wouldn’t even hesitate to say that I’m good at it. I have done work as a fight choreographer for film, and I am trained in stage combat as well. 2) I’m a contortionist. Yes….
Feb 29th
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Feb 29th
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Feb 29th
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I am now imagining this exchange in a future...
Abed: Oh, everyone needs to be extra careful this week.
Jeff: Why's that?
Abed: It's Sweeps Week. High-rating shows always have some big mind-blowing event in Sweeps Week to get ratings. Someone dies, or there's a natural disaster.
Jeff: Abed, for the last time, this is not one of those shows!
Abed: No, you're probably right. Some shows just have some big Oscar-winning actor make an appearance.
Jeff: This is Greendale. I doubt there's an Oscar-winning actor in the entire state, let alone one about to walk through the study room door.
Dean Pelton: *walks through the study room door* Hel-looooooo!
Feb 29th
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Feb 29th
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Feb 28th
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Feb 28th
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This is just......
wormstachepower: I cant xD
Feb 28th
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Feb 28th
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USA Sherlock feelings
I’ve decided I’m fine with swapping genders in the new version (which I may or may not -most likely not- actually watch) but what upsets me is that it’s the sidekick who has been genderswapped. Can we not have a female Sherlock? That’s never been done before - Bones notwithstanding - and with Lucy Liu, a WOC and HBIC, you could totally make that work. I mean, look at this...
Feb 28th
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Feb 28th
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Feb 27th
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Feb 27th
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When I Tell People That I Read A Lot In My Spare...
idoscienceintheshower: What they think I mean: What I actually mean:
Feb 27th
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Feb 27th
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